!!!WARNING: SERIOUS POST AHEAD!!!
EDIT: I think it should be stated that I attend (and have attended) a small church my entire life. This post is in no way intended to "bash" or "put down" small churches. I point this issue out in hopes of bringing about healthy dialogue and creating positive change.
Don't lie...
Love your neighbor...
Don't lie about loving your neighbor...
People often discredit large churches because they are cliquey. But I'd argue that small churches are just as cliquey. The difference? They are so small they only have one or two cliques.
On one hand, cliques are part of american culture (arguably even a part of human nature), on the other hand, they can very quickly become destructive.
I would make the argument that many small churches stay small (and even have decreasing numbers), because they are unwelcoming to newcomers. Most of the time I don't think this is intentional, but I do believe that the opposite is also true. They aren't intentionally trying to be welcoming to people who are different either.
The church touts loving their neighbor, but often they don't even know their neighbors! Sure, the pastor might know the neighbors, but the pastor is only a small part of the church. How many people of the congregation know the churches neighbors? How many times have the parishioners spoken to their unsaved neighbors just to say "Hi, how are you today"?
Notice I'm not asking the church members to say, "I'd like to talk to you about our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ."
I am certainly guilty of ignoring the new guy. The difference? I see the problem and want to change.
I see too many Christians who sit comfortably in their pews without any spiritual growth in their life. It's time for them to grow up or get out of the way. Christianity isn't about comfort. Jesus didn't live a life of comfort. He lived a life loving His neighbors for real. None of this, I love my neighbor because I give to the food pantry a few times a year. His life was more like feeding the homeless guy on the train a hot meal even though he was a little bit crazy.
Preacher Andy Stanley gives us a great place to start. "Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone." So I'll say it again...
Don't lie...
Love your neighbor...
Don't lie about loving your neighbor...
What do you think? How can you start loving your neighbor better? How can your church love their neighbors better? Let us all know in the comment section!
I think cliques are definitely a problem, but I also think there's some truth to the idea that certain demographics in the church just don't have anything in common (besides Jesus, but how long can you really talk about Him?), and that some personalities just don't gel. Most church members are cordial and polite to each other, but I think there has to be some level of natural attraction for a real relationship to develop; I think it's harder than just going up to someone and talking. I also get the impression that older generations were more conversational, a skill that today's younger generation has lost. Those are the barriers I see, anyway.
ReplyDeleteHey Dan! Thanks for your input. I get what you are saying. My concern is that people get so comfortable that they fail to really reach out. Also, I agree that our generation is less conversational, but some churches are seeking to overcome this by allowing for short discussion times early on, or after their sermon where people can discuss ideas that will be or were present in the service.
ReplyDeleteCool, I like that pre/post discussion idea! We've tried something similar with our youth group, would be cool to see among adults.
DeleteHey Dan, thanks for commenting! I think that creating a dialogue between the old guard and newcomers is a key element to welcoming new folks into that "family" feeling that many smaller churches have. I also think that it would help people from different backgrounds to see that maybe they aren't so different after all.
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